Thursday, September 20, 2007

JigSaw My Life

Have You Ever Played Jig Saw Puzzle , if no probably this junk collection of few words is not for you. This is how we go about playing a puzzle, take the pieces and try to keep them back in places. But how do we go about joining broken pieces of an abstract life. When You yourself become so dis-illusioned that you weave out a face from an abstract painting. When you Cry but dont know is it because of bright future or contrasting past, or the way present times are crushing you. Here is me , at threshold of my last days in Bangalore, still thinking what is it This City has given me more than any other. I made a few new friends, some of them will bond with me till i am alive, some have lost the track in current city. first time i refused an ongoing relationship , and nth time a a girl saying no to thing i never said. Well Bangalore for me is a puzzle , in which i had a very cherished birthday , topped with the people present. I jusy hope one thing , i wud have left Bangalore before 31st August. That day has left me with nothing. What happened for next 3 weeks was nothing but lost and lost friends. As i was lost in middle of nothing, nursing an injury to myself. With no one around , and THE ONLY FRIEND , i considered to become one of my closest friends ever was gone. It was like " we came so close that we became so far" .
Suddenly this happy go merry city became a devil , and only 1 , single person was able to find me absent minded in most laughs. Friends become busy with work , and dont appreciate the help. I just dont want anyone to be in a sitaution, when u help a person with all you can , and next moment the person is gone.
God Forbid , i confess to have a big bigger and biggest crush of my life in Bangalore , and yes i dreamt. Is it unfair , No way. All can dream , unfair is when u want it to come true at any cost.
i wanted to pen this for so long , but didnt find the strength. Please remember i am all by strengths of my friends , and please even if find me a bit irritating at time , just dont hate me.

One of my friends started hating me , and to that friend , i am SORRY. Its a failure on my part to be one , and i will repent. Obviously I had a mistake , i shall be punished. But when alone , and when u want to talk , i am still there with my ears open as wide , and ready to take the scolding when u did not get the justified piece of cake in suceess.
But one thing i learned , never make some one your everything , because when they are gone you are left with nothing.

But this is not the type of post i am supposed to write, for all my friends, it was just a piece of fiction, and for those who know me , its still a fiction piece.

The pain is fun , only thing is it sometimes becomes sticky and messy , with eyes gallowing red , and pain turning hot cooled by the rain in eyes.

Now i am travelling to Pune finally on 29th Sept , but only 1 thing i wanna ask God ... Why always Me ... why always 31st ... why is it u made me this way , y is it u made my heart like a stone , y is it that it does not pain despite many heart breaks. .. still y this stone heart never told how deeply i like her .. y is it never said to most beautiful girl , i like u ... y is it it is going far far from her ... y is it the reason for me to be happy in bangalore is lost. .. y is it a thousand friends can make me smile from heart , and why is it even after deleting her number from my mobile i remember her , y is it after deleting contact from outlook , i still remember her id , y is it I still look in her scrap book with different profiles ... y is it i am hated by none by her .. y is it I still wait for her to come along ... y is it u r still reading this junk piece and not laughing yr stomachs out ...
i have been known to be like that , and nothing on me shud be serious , so why should this article be an exception.
But one thing , my jig saw will be complete the day the most beautiful girl i ever saw comes back in my life , may be not as a lover , may be as a gf , and as a true friend , i always saw her as.

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