Life has been so full of surprises that i dont know if one such thing actually exists. Have you ever not met with an accident that u shout "Oh God Save me". Have you. Do u believe in God, I used to when i was rich. People remember him in times of distress , and i tend to forget him at times when i need him the most. For he is God , he must be knowing i am forgetting him. He must do something for come back in my life, must he play a miracle , should be join a broken heart or try to join all pieces of shattered heart that has just been crushed with a simple NO.
I am sometimes into believeing that God is nothing but an illusion , an illusion of a few happy who want to credit all they have to someone other than themselves. I am on other sides who are existing ( even if i can term it that way). He was bountiful of letting me meet her , and then in midst of haze , she just faded away. no no , not she , i , me .. I faded off in her memories , and my sight still glaze over the cubicle, on the roads , in the bus, in bike in search to find some faith. I have a great luck line , and a bigger fortune . I will be very rich , but money cant buy you love. I consider myself very poor when i look all i have lost , and the pains incurred. Few times when friends try to be God , and those when they end up devil.
Long time i have been to temple , long time i bowed my head , long times i touched someone's feet , long time i was blessed with an elderly hand... long time i lived , long time i thought about the almighty.
Is it back in me , the power to defy , power to negate his existence. I have nearly lost each and everything i said Mine , he has proved me that they never were. is my illusion that he is illusion is illusion or i am still disillusioned. I am still defying him , and let me challenge him to take all he can now , when i am in a position of nothing to lose , and anything more than that will surely dent his image.
Do u believe in him , i can but for time being i may not. for i have lost so many things to him , that i can't afford a God