Tuesday, April 1, 2008

me and my personal space

Is this world to be conquered all alone or we have to carry someone on our back. Is it reaching personal milestone or letting all go together. For so long I have heard that “Its lonely at the top”, does one refers that personal bonding , friendships and other such stuff take a backseat once one reaches the top. I don’t think so. There was a time when I was surrounded by friends all around me , and never think anything other than shear fun. Small pranks those made day for me, and getting on one poor guy. Sometimes I was also on receiving end , and the life went on smoothly as hot knife on slice of butter. There was a crack on beautiful dress she wore today and on the dressing sense of person in next cube. The project smiles were carried on to food courts and from there to home. The entire day was so full that one need not think of personal space or need of one. But then why today has this concept of personal space intruded the boundaries of my not so developed brain. This is a tedious question and one might wonder how to get the things right. There is a saying “When nothing is going your way , nothing way” , and nothing is. Maybe I will cherish this posts with my lost friends once they are back , and laugh our stomachs out. But as of now , I know one thing for sure, “IF u are going through hell, go on”. For road to quality has no end , and each crossed milestone brings me closer to utmost target or goal of perfect salvation.

Our words are counted , so are minutes of life. One may spend them cherishing , enjoying and having fun all around the place ,but sometimes few words should be saved for critical situation. Words like arrows can be penetrative , and should be carefully used. The wound by an arrow head can heal , but words might not. One small vocabulary error can seal the fate of a decade old friendship.

There is one thing which now I think most in times when I talk to myself, that we should appreciate the ones who appreciate us. God has not made many people to be with us, and if some people have a liking for us, we should not negate them. God knows when we fall in love with them, and sincerely want them back. Few people create a void in life and that void can never be fulfilled by a thousands who may fill in. even if one is surrounded by a hundred friends , go and make a personal note. Note the people falling in love with your smile, smile back. Appreciate them , encourage them love them. True friends are really difficult to find , just like diamonds. Diamond is a stone, but when found is like just like another. It has to be polished and finished to desire the heart, only think unlike friends. Friends are found as gem, cherished as memories and lived as life. If you found one in me, and u think u really let me go. Surely for once you may be right, but there is no way I wont be back. But this time I don’t want to come back to go just like that. This time I want to come and stay like a blueprint of friendship.

A personal space gives u a lot of more time to think what is good and what is right. A day full when one does not attend a phone call or talk to anyone , will help one realize the correct steps and mistakes he is making. Most of the times those small incidents which otherwise wont find a mention echo in the minds. A harmless humour can turn demon and turn the friendship in tars ...

There was one of my friends who once told me to have a personal space , go to park for a walk , take mp3 songs , walk a distance, may be for an hour and give myself sometime. I tried once, but that was so boring. How can one survive alone , how can one do fine with a heart break. Have one injured oneself physically , be in hospital for a long time or loaded under pressure. Still have I held my nerves to hold on to call. Between breaking voice and demolished morale stood a friend to fight for the world. Why should one care not about one who cares for you the most. This is a typical human nature and I still have no clue why it happens that way. Sometimes we stumble over a rock , fall down and stand up. Sometimes the injury would refrain us from standing for a brief period, the injury takes time to nurse , but a person will always stand more strongly after a tragedy or accident is what I may not agree with. Physically after a span one might be weaker, but when the relations break it hurts, when heart breaks it pains , but when a friend goes, is suicidal. I really don’t care how many girls come in my life and I talk to daily. The number is huge , many are not more than a chat friend. Some drop in for a call , and few will appreciate my writing, others my poems and I will appreciate each of them as the most beautiful girl to walk on the earth but do I really mean it. There are a couple of girls who took it too seriously and few took it too lightly. But that’s life that happens when one is planning other things. There was a name on Gtalk I used to start my say with , now that rests in peace , a name to prop up at 9 Am morning desk , lyf happened and its gone. Then there was a regular call like a coffee break at 10:15Am suddenly gone missing. Even the friends call at 1230 to reach food court is missing. There are no longer team meetings blocking my calendar , and the fate seemed to be giving back my dues. The times are not trying to pass , and I am not letting it pass through.

Is there a way that some feelings miss a person spanning a year and a half. If someone is staring at me, I get to know and so does other half of city I reside in. then my conscious fails to admit that the person I like does not know it. There possibly could be two reasons as learnt from Atom, either she wants me to be close friends always or use me before we both by mutual consent say “It Quits” , and she can come out of it as easy as” Mission Accompalished “ , and possibly I will take certain time to recover or maybe not. But she will like other care not. Her number will change like her character , like first snow she smirks and smiles. But one ray of sunshine will melt it away. I don’t know how does adversity brings out best in person, may be the person manages to make best of the resources available , but definitely prosperity has no parallel. There is a learning in each time good and bad. Good times are like sugar candy , one may learn and cherish. Bad times are board exams, god Forbid , if one does not score good, he is doomed for life. Each step there are thousands of mistakes ready to happen

And one has to choose one which punishes you the least and the wounds of which will be healed soon. The times have changed and so has me , else these times wont forgive me.

The personal space in me is my space , which has like a crystal glass helped me realize the fact that friends is an illusioned terms used in good times for colleagues, and should not be carried as permanent baggage. The things I am learning from one of my friends , I don’t carry excess baggage, and sooner or later I will drop the same , THE EXCESS BAGGAGE. Thanks a lot for my personal space for helping me realize the same

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