Thursday, May 15, 2008

how it pains...........

There are times when we are surrounded by a thousand friends and still eyes look for that ONE. A frequently met across thought ,but believe me to have a broken relationship is bad , but to lose a friend is worst. One can find a new love , but to find a new friend to replace old one. Even by wildest stretch of imagination is not feasible. We generally meet new people on daily basis, and they all tightly fit and weave nicely in our life as if they were also there. There was concept of resonance , I read sometimes in high school , but I experienced in real life. We meet so many new people whose tuning forks match ours. And chemistry between them yields gold. For to talk to each other words are meaningless. A simple smile writes epic , a little frown rectifies the problem and a morning cheer brings the long lost happiness back in heart. Some people gel deeper in our roots , deeper and deepest , like a banyan tree. And then arial roots not only guide the growth but gives our identity a new dimension.

There is nothing impossible in this world , a complete stranger becomes everything , and similarily other way round. I can keep on writing at length on this topic , but this is feeling , a feeling of losing a friend. And I don’t want to miss a single word of how it pains to lose one. She was , yes she was one of the best friends I had. I had no feelings of love ( like that of girlfriend ) to her, but she was my cherished friend. She was one who looked to me , and I to her when we were in trouble. I will not say this time that I helped her, because I don’t want another mail shot at me saying “its sorry they took help , just cauz I cared “. Now when a girl and a boy are friend and share deepest secrets, those in today’s world will be bold ideas , but one thing was sure. We talked to each other as friends would, shopped together ,moved together and even spend a fun filled day together. Cooked a meal together and had fought , abused and loved each other. But today, when she has found a boyfriend, she thinks she is over me. God Forbid , some people will never learn difference between love and friendship. Even when she knows my crush , the girl I love and the one I wanna marry , and she is not in the list. She was a friend to me , but to have a boy-friend means to stop talking to friends. God Damm it , next time you have a heart-break don’t come back to me , as u did the last time. I was always there for a friend. I do make mistakes and I repent on them for long , but its long time now. And now I have decided to be hurt by one once only. And for all those hi-attitude friends , those who think hi-fi English and carrying a boy-friend is more in vogue than having friends whom you can share anything , I have only one word to say ,”Good-bye”.

In the midst of this busy office hour , with fast ticking clock meeting deadlines , and series of mail those would be escalated for me not completing the work will not be heavier than the feeling of losing a friend as I now carry on my back. Believe me the weight of losing a friend is much more deafening voice of heart break. You , once my friend , have today not found a boy-friend but probably lost a friend of life who would not regret giving his life for love of his friend. For second time in my life, I have to repeat the words , “ Unlucky you” , and its you only who knows who the first one was. Irony of life , one I trusted with life got carried away with new found love that you preferred ignoring the one who probably helped you to a limit when you needed him the most.

And now even without a subject, and closed brain would one easily notice the discontinuity in writing coupled with the frustration in me while writing. A call between this call ended me in stammering , and I have not been able to get my accent back. The big friend circle seems so void , and the overflowing communicator list looks so empty. If you are still stuck up reading this pathetic piece of article, by an aimless creature , a heartless person , a brainless plant and never-a-friend person , a last simple request , don’t take the one who love you for granted, for the new ones cant replace the old gems , and friends lost are not items sold those come back with depreciated value. If they come back, they do with a broken trust, and feeling of being cheated and above all , the SPIRIT of friendship. It will be sometime , say some hours , before I find some old friend , and some time before I forget that friend. Like her, there have been many , but I deny the fact that they miss me. For each time , they face an issue , they look for a shoulder to cry on , for each time they dress well and look for appreciation , for each time they feel down , they still do pick up the phones and dial the number and cut it. They scrap and delete , they ping and go offline. I do feel hurt when they stop informing me , but I am sure they miss me more than I miss them. But for her , the pain will be more, the blood oozing out will be a bit more than normal, the scar will not go unnoticed , but probably the way you used to talk and I provided solutions would change, probably next time I wont die for you. For I just pray that your new found boy-friend will stay with you till eternity ( he is your third bf na ) , because if he goes this time , you probably wont get that glowing friendship of Deepak back.

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